Last week we determined that marriage is a gift from God, and that openness to life and the gift of children fell into the categories of purposes, benefits, and duties of Christian marriage. Husband and wife are called to co-parent their children, working together as a unit to get their whole family into Heaven someday. Today we get to focus on our call to motherhood and what God asks of us in this world.
Themes:
- Why God Created Families
- A Mother’s Job from the Lord
- We are unsupported in the world…
- …so we must pray for grace
Next session:
- Discipline
- Watching Our Words Again
“When a woman is in travail she has sorrow, because her hour has come; but when she is delivered of the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a child is born into the world.” (John 16:21)
Family: The Vital Cell of Society
The family should be your place of encounter with God. John Paul II
Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church (CSDC), no. 219:
The importance and centrality of the family with regard to the person and society is repeatedly underlined by Sacred Scripture…The family is presented, in the Creator’s plan, as “the primary place of ‘humanization’ for the person and society” and the “cradle of life and love.” (John Paul II, Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation Christifideles Laici, 40)
CSDC no. 212:
The family has central importance in reference to the person…when a child is conceived, society receives the gift of a new person who is called “from the innermost depths of self to communion with others and to the giving of self to others” (Christifideles Laici). It is in the family, therefore, that the mutual giving of self on the part of man and woman united in marriage creates an environment of life in which children “develop their potentialities, become aware of their dignity and prepare to face their unique and individual destiny” (John Paul II, Encyclical Letter Centesimus Anus, 39). …[It is in the family that] man receives his first formative ideas about truth and goodness, and learns what it means to love and to be loved, and thus what it actually means to be a person” (ibid).
In other words, we teach kids how to be people!
1. How does a good marriage create a holy family?
2. We need to know what we are supposed to be teaching….so what does it mean to be a person?
In Deuteronomy 6:20-25, the Lord tells Moses to teach the people how to pass on the stories of their escape from Egypt and how the Lord saved them and brought them to the Promised Land. The key to “a prosperous and happy life” is to hand down the commandments through the generations so that all will know “our justice before the Lord, our God, is to consist in carefully observing all these commandments he has enjoined on us.”
1 Samuel 3:13
And I tell him that I am about to punish his house for ever, for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons were blaspheming God, and he did not restrain them.
Sirach 30:1-5
He who loves his son chastises him often, that he may be his joy when he grows up. He who disciplines his son will benefit from him, and boast of him among his intimates. He who educates his son makes his enemy jealous, and shows his delight in him among his friends. At the father’s death, he will seem not dead, since he leaves after him one like himself, whom he looks upon through life with joy, and even in death, without regret.
3. What are some of the responsibilities of the family found in Sacred Scripture?
CSDC no 213:
The family, the natural community in which human social nature is experienced, makes a unique and irreplaceable contribution to the good of society. The family unit, in fact, is born from the communion of persons. “‘Communion’ has to do with the personal relationship between the ‘I’ and the ‘thou.’ ‘Community‘ on the other hand transcends this framework and moves towards a ‘society’, a ‘we.’ The family, as a community of persons, is thus the first human ‘society.'” (John Paul II, Letter to Families Gratissimam Sane, 7)
A society built on a family scale is the best guarantee against drifting off course into individualism or collectivism, because within the family the person is always at the center of attention as an end and never as a means. It is patently clear that the good of persons and the proper functioning of society are closely connected “with the healthy state of conjugal and family life” (Gaudium et Spes). Without families that are strong in their communion and stable in their commitment people grow weak. In the family, moral values are taught starting from the very first years of life, the spiritual heritage of the religious community and the cultural legacy of the nation are transmitted. In the family one learns social responsibility and solidarity.
4. What should the focus of a family be?
5. What will be the result of strong families in greater society?
Help Wanted: Mother
6. In your own experience, what is a mother’s job description?
As you read the following from Church teaching and Scripture, take note of mothers’ responsibilities and list them below.
Every new life is entrusted to the protection and care of the woman carrying it in the womb. —Pope John Paul II
Giving birth passes on the curse of original sin; therefore the duties of parents must include counteracting that process. We cannot physically pass on sanctification to our children, there is no recipe to follow to make sure they accept salvation. Therefore we must have them baptized into grace and raise them according to God’s Word of love in order to give the best attempt at sharing the “eternal glory to which we all aspire from our inmost heart” (Casti Connubii).
CSDC no 242:
The family has the responsibility to provide an integral education. Indeed, all true education “is directed towards the formation of the human person in view of his final end and the good of that society to which he belongs and in the duties of which he will, as an adult, have a share” (Second Vatican Ecumenical Council, Declaration Gravissimum Educationis, 1). This integrality is ensured when children – with the witness of life and in words – are educated in dialogue, encounter, sociality, legality, solidarity and peace, through the cultivation of the fundamental virtues of justice and charity.
In the education of children, the role of the father and that of the mother are equally necessary (Gaudium et Spes). The parents must therefore work together. They must exercise authority with respect and gentleness but also, when necessary, with firmness and vigor: it must be credible, consistent, and wise and always exercised with a view to children’s integral good (emphasis mine).
Ephesians 2:19-22
So then you are no longer strangers and sojourners, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure is joined together and grows into a holy temple in the Lord; in whom you also are built into it for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.
Our world needs saints!
“We must supplicate the Lord to increase the Church’s spirit of holiness and to send us new saints to evangelize today’s world; more than reformers [the Church] has a need for saints, because saints are the authentic and most fruitful reformers.” –Pope John Paul II
7. Who is responsible for raising saints?
8. After reading Church teaching, what is a mother’s job description in the Christian life?
9. How would you describe discipline that is credible, consistent and wise?
It’s no secret that the education and discipline of children are not only inextricably intertwined, but also take up the largest percentage of mothers’ (parents’) time and energy. In light of this, the next session in this study will focus specifically on the discipline of our children. In other words, more on this later!
A Life With Little Cultural Support
In living out their mission, these heroic women do not always find support in the world around them. -Pope John Paul II
One of the chief aims of the activity of the laity is the moral renewal of society, which cannot be superficial, partial and instantaneous. —Pope Benedict XVI
From The Heart of Motherhood, by Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle, p. 18:
Reflecting on Jesus’ words in Scripture when he said, “The Kingdom of Heaven is like the yeast a woman took and mixed in with three measures of flour till it was leavened all through,” we realize that just as a little yeast can leaven a batch of bread dough to feed the whole family, so can the holiness of a few people have a great influence in the Church and in the world.
10. Where are the biggest needs in the “moral renewal of society” that your family/motherly example can influence?
CSDC no. 220:
The sacrament of marriage takes up the human reality of conjugal love in all its implications and “gives to Christian couples and parents a power and a commitment to live their vocation as lay people and therefore to ‘seek the kingdom of God by engaging in temporal affairs and by ordering them according to the plan of God'” (John Paul II, Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio, 47). Intimately united to the Church by virtue of the sacrament that makes it a “domestic Church” or a “little Church,” the Christian family is called therefore “to be a sign of unity for the world and in this way to exercise its prophetic role by bearing witness to the Kingdom and peace of Christ, towards which the whole world is journeying” (ibid, 48).
11. Brainstorm all the “temporal affairs” or “earthly” affairs in your typical mother’s day. Choose the top three that feel farthest from God. How can you “order them according to His plan”?
12. What does it mean for your family to be a “domestic Church”?
A Mother’s Call to Prayer
We must pray for guidance and grace from God to complete our tasks, especially with so little support in our world. To educate children in the midst of a world of temptations, let us call upon our Blessed Mother to crush the head of the serpent:
The humble Mary will always have the victory over that proud spirit [Satan], and so great a victory that she will go so far as to crush his head, where his pride dwells.
–St. Louis de Montfort
At the name of Mary, the devils are prostrated as by a thunderbolt from Heaven.
–Thomas a Kempis
Crushed and trodden under the feet of Mary, he suffers a miserable slavery.
-St. Bernardine of Siena
from The Heart of Motherhood, p. 51:
We should remember that Mary was faced with many trials as she mothered our Lord Jesus. The Decree on the Apostolate of the Laity states that lay people are encouraged to emulate Mary because she blends perfectly the spiritual and apostolic life. “Indeed, while leading a life common to us, one filled with family concerns and labors, Mary was always intimately united to Christ, furthering the work of the Savior.” The document concludes that “all should devoutly venerate her and commend their life and apostolate to her maternal care.”
Let us stay close to and united with Jesus always. As we work through our days, we can make even mundane tasks offerings of prayer for the salvation of our families, our children. We learned in the first session, Sacrifice, that our daily duty, borne patiently and offered up to the Lord as a sacrifice of prayer, can be redemptive and have great worth. As we get buried in laundry, dishes, dinner duties, snotty noses, carpools and sporting events, ungrateful children and cranky babies…may we remember that we are called to do tasks for our children with LOVE. God rewards all acts done in love, however small. Yes, that’s difficult. But it is part of our call. Blessed Mother Teresa taught, “Holiness is not a luxury for a few, but a duty for everyone.”
13. When am I most tempted to begrudgingly do a task for my child(ren), instead of an offering of great love?
Being a mother is a great call from God, and one that we need to both take seriously and accept help with. Let us learn from Mary, our spiritual Mother, and Hannah, a great ancestor – Mary tells the angel of the Lord, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it done to me according to your word” (Lk 1:38), and she also offers her Son back to the Lord in Luke 2:22: “And when the time came for their purification according to the law of Moses, they brought him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord.”
Hannah, an Old Testament mother, prayed diligently for the Lord to give her children, praying, “O Lord of hosts, if you look with pity on the misery of your handmaid, if you remember me and do not forget me, if you give your handmaid a male child, I will give him to the Lord for as long as he lives” (1 Sam 1:11). When she finally had her firstborn, she kept her promise and dropped him off at the temple saying, “I prayed for this child, and the Lord granted my request. Now I, in turn, give him to the Lord; as long as he lives, he shall be dedicated to the Lord” (1 Sam 1:27-28).
Both Mary and Hannah call themselves handmaids of the Lord, and both offer their child to God, trusting Him to take care of their family. They both also have a deep prayer life. If we do nothing else, let us follow in their footsteps – staying close to God in prayer, submitting our wills to Him as His servant, doing whatever He tells us in faith, and offering our children daily to Him in prayer.
14. Are you able to honestly give your children back to God, acknowledging that they are His children first, and simply a gift “on loan” to you on this earth? If not, what is hindering you?
15. How can you improve your prayer life as a mother praying for her children specifically? What do you need to do to become a more holy mother?
16. What is your family prayer life like? Can you discern one thing to add or improve about your family’s prayer life?
To Love as Jesus Does
From “A Mother’s Book of Prayer”
Leaflet Missal Company, St. Paul, MN
Dear Jesus, friend of the poor, ill and marginalized, You taught us how to love our neighbor through Your example of selflessness and compassion. Give me the graces I need each day to be an authentic example of Your love to my children, that when they go out into the world, they may be “other Christs” to those they encounter. I ask this in Your Holy Name. Amen.